What's Actually Going On

Location: I miss Redding more than words can say. I miss Cathy, Jen, Simpson, homework (well, homework in my major studies), the great Thai Food Place on 273, Neighborhood church, Awana's and the awful times that went hand in hand with the good. Looking back now, I had no idea that I was having the best time of my life while in Redding; something there connected me to myself. The best metaphor that I have about my 18 months there was like I was in rehab. Now, I am "out" and have to put into practice the things that I supposedly learned while there. Cousin Kevin warned me: "you may have learned lessons, but you don't actually get the credit until you do what you've learned-- not just say it." After my brief move to Concord-- which was good in hindsight, but personally a very trying time for me-- my prayers were answered with a job offer. Not just any job offer. A career job offer and it required a move. Gratefully, I am quite happy in my new Manteca home and Mallory and I are getting along better than I would have ever guessed (because a. I never see her b. We're never home c. When we are home, there is Sophie to regulate matters, and she picks my side a lot :). Now that life brought me back to the Central Valley, I'm thrilled to be closer to my family (which most of you are, even if we're not technically related...)

Job: If I haven't already told you strongly enough, I love my job. It's challenging. creative, complex, meticulous, fast-paced, and totally up my alley. It's amazing what can be accomplished when your job is your passion. I'm settling in well and getting into a groove there. You'd be proud of me- I've been bringing my own lunch AND working out on my lunch hour at the nearby club. Oddly, the murmur around the office is that those who start working at corporate gain 15 pounds the first year (sorta like the Freshman 15: Professional Edition.) I am determined to do quite the opposite.

Finances: You won't believe that money that I have saved by brewing my own coffee everyday and making my own lunch. Just doing the math, I make my lunch for $1.52 a day. On Sunday night I put a can of salsa and 2 chicken breasts in the crock pot. By Monday morning, I have all my taco meat for the week. Add the corn tortillas in bulk and (a pinch of) shredded cheese and I am eating cheaper and better than a trip to taco bell. And... that's about all I want to talk about finances.

Dating: Sigh. I take full responsibility for my singleness. I vow to look in the right places-- and be the right person-- from now on.

Spirituality: I've been wrestling with some really big life questions recently. More so, I've been trying to figure out where Christianity "fits" into my world. The revelation that awaited me was something that I think I understood better at 5 than I did at 25. Reading Mere Christianity on a whim, I got to a chapter that I hadn't gotten to in my previous reading of the book (The last time was on assignment for school. I taped off around chapter 9 to do other homework. Whoops.) Anyway, Lewis said many things that spoke directly to my heart, as if all my questioning had gone into this one moment of awakening. The main point that I am starting to glean is that God demands perfection (yikes) from His followers, but He doesn't ask us to do it without giving us the way in order to achieve it (phew). This meant that my trying to fit Christianity into my life was all wrong. When I ask God to change one thing because I want control over the rest of my world, I have to realize that God is not going to change just that one thing-- he wants all of me. We Christians GET to pretend to be like Christ because then our actions will start to be Christlike and we won't be pretending anymore. That is why we are told to "count the cost" before becoming a Christian, because it truly means giving up ourselves to do the will of the Father. Well, Lewis puts it in SUCH a better way than I do, and he doesn't even sound preachy. I don't want to preach-- I want to learn more and more and more...

Sophie: She has been truly God's gift to me. There is so much joy that I get from that furry, 4-legged ball of cuteness. Currently she is hiding under my bed, waiting for me be to be done so that I can throw the ball for her. I know that some of you won't understand this, but there's a lot of wounds that she heals in me-- hurts from past losses and salve for future disappointments. When we first got her, I missed Zekers and Zsa Zsa terribly, but my Spirited Sophie has melted my heart. Since being kennel trained, she is almost the perfect puppy. She's also a very positive constant reminder of my time in Redding. She loves people-- so come by and see her!