Change is Gonna Come

When I first met my friend and current manager, Michelle, she had just moved to Modesto and wanted to know what there was to do here. I certainly didn't know past the regular movies, bowling, and drinking options, but I told her that I was willing to hang out with her if the occasion arose. Not too long after that, she suggested taking yoga together. It sounded horrifying to me—I’d never attempted it before and knew that I was about as flexible as a baseball bat. However, I knew that I wouldn’t improve unless I tried, so I agreed. That was the hardest and best thing that I attempted to do in a long long time. It was the kind of yoga where you moved around a lot and you didn't just hold poses and I was in over my novice little head.

I remember it being a long class, but the biggest lasting impression is the story that was told while we were in the relaxation pose (my sanskirt is a little fuzzy so I won't even attempt it). Well, actually I don't remember the actual story, I remember the spirit of the story.

Update-- I just found the actual parable online after 4 years of searching. So, here it is:

Parable of the Farmer- Chinese Proverb

An old farmer had an old horse for tilling his fields. One day the horse escaped into the hills. When all the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Who knows? We shall see."

A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was the same, "Who knows? We shall see."

Then, when the farmer's son attempted to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this to be very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Who knows? We shall see."

Some weeks later the army marched into the village and gathered every able-bodied youth they found there to join the military. As it happened the farmer's son was deemed unfit because of his broken leg. "What very good fortune you have!!" the villagers exclaimed as their own young sons were marched away. "You must be very happy." "Who knows? We shall see," replied the old farmer.

***

The parable has stuck with me all these years, as I attempt measure if circumstances are "good" or "bad." It helps to accept change and to help accept the big picture easier. It's the first parable that comes to mind with the next new phase in my life. I've taking a Public Relations Manager position with a company in Modesto, and in a couple of weeks, things will be very different. It might be a good move, it might be a bad move. "Who knows? We shall see." I can be excited and give it 100% of my effort, but the outcome of this decision is yet to be determined.

Jerry Bridges said in Trusting God, "God is at work in all the circumstances of your life to bring out the good for you, even if you had never heard of Romans 8:28. His work is not dependent upon your faith. But the comfort and joy that statement is intended to give you is dependent upon your believing it, upon your trusting in Him who is at work, even though you cannot see the outcome of that work." He goes on in another chapter, " To derive the fullest comfort and encouragement from Romans 8:28 we must realize that God is at work in a proactive, not reactive, fashion. That is, God does not just respond to an adversity in our lives to make the best of a bad situation. He knows before He initiates or permits the adversity exactly how He will use it for our good." God know what will be used for good in my life, even when nothing makes sense.

That also being said, Ryan and I have chosen to downgrade our relationship to one of friendship. I think he is a dear, sweet caring man and that fact hasn't made this decision easy. We've seen a lot of stress during our dating quarter (I've been buying houses and moving and changing jobs and it's a bit more than a relationship that needs time and energy can handle). I still have my friend to call and bounce ideas off of and we still plan to meet up occasionally, but now I can selfishly get my ducks in a row and become stabilized again. So, when you see him, pat him on the shoulder and say, "We'd vote her off the island if given the chance." I'm pretty sure that I know the lesson I needed to learn by dating him, though. At least in part. And I am going to keep it to myself. A girl has to have some secrets, you know? What do you think, is there a chance that I'll fall in love one day and live happily ever after? Who knows? We shall see.