64 Days & A Lifetime of Lessons

"Mount Rushmore, Rapid City-- if only things moved as fast as they said it would." - Tom LaBarbera

If you're into keeping track, you're right-- I wasn't gone in South Dakota the long when it comes to minutes and seconds. When it comes to emotional journeys and making tough decisions that will affect my future, I was gone for a lifetime. Packing up my world, making plans to relocate, doing it, and finding a way to live once I got there all answered the question of-- could I, would I ever go?

Now I know the answer is "yes." I find myself at more peace, more calm, and more content then I ever thought I could have been on the other side of the hiatus. That being said, I wouldn't take it back for the world, however, I do wish I hadn't used my "adventure" card on South Dakota. More on that later.

It was all perfect timing. I received a text from a friend, "Tawny, come home," and the word home leapt off the screen. My future in South Dakota was over, there was nothing for me left. I'd even gone on a date before I left, one the roomie had set me up. He was and is a great guy, but I told him that I couldn't stay for something "maybe." Still, I was proud of myself for being healthy enough to move on so quickly-- it proved that there was no baggage left behind. It was time to go home. When I asked the family if it was possible, they sprang into action, lining up the moving truck for one week later, and Unkie booked a plane ticket help drive me home. I had to pack in record time, finishing 2 hours after Uncle landed and he could help with the bigger tasks. He flew in at 4pm and wanted to be on the road at 6am the next morning. Aye-aye, Captain. I was ready and was thrilled that there was no delay.

Precious Perry and Judy had given us instructions on how to take the route that would take us by Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse just as the sun was rising. It was a great decision-- it was breathtaking and a great start to our journey.

My camera cord has yet to arrive because the movers thought my computer desk was too precarious to move. It stayed behind, and Nicole is sending my things that were packed inside. In the meantime, I have a new computer desk and there are some photos on my phone I want to share. Other photos to come later. Unkie asked that I put up photos with him smiling. This is all I've got.

On our way! Sophie is sleep standing and I am hiding the fact that I was up almost the whole night before we left. Unkie kept joking with Sophie to not come on his side, or she would find new meaning to "doggone it."

Still, Soph insisted on pushing the boundaries.

We got to Modesto in 20 short hours and it took mere minutes for me to see Tommy and Maura, who were dropped off at Mom and Dads to let Auntie deal with them. Then I got as settled as I could in my new digs, a room I'm renting from my friends who have a house close to Sipherd school. They have one inside dog, Tooty, and 2 outside American Bullies. One just had 7 puppies a week ago so there are now 11 dogs at this residence. Sophie looks so big next to Tooty! I call them Soph-a-moph and Toots-a-lot.

I learned a lot in my time away. I really adored Andy's friends and family and wished for that reason alone it would have worked. It just wasn't enough. I now know that I can survive the familial holiday-- Christmas-- away from everything I know. Getting through that was one of the toughest things I have ever gone through, but I feel stronger in my independence because of it, like God is preparing me for something. I'm highly adaptable and it didn't take long to find friends outside of my relationship. The way it all ended affirmed in me that I made the right decision to go because the issues that surfaced all did because we were dating in person. However, I wish we had taken longer concentrated time together before the move to see if those issues would have surfaced without the life change. The biggest thing I learned is that I want to date while coexisting with my friends and family. I'd like for the people in my world like him as much as I do. 

My biggest realization is this: there are really only two options in my relational future, either the right man pursues me and convinces my me about forever life with him, or I am just fine. Alone is not a word in my vocabulary when I am home. I told you before that this will be a season of working for me. Turns out moving is expensive.. Then, I hope to make time to travel and see more of the world-- I feel like my writing hinges on it. I remember watching TV this past New Years Eve and a group was performing as the fireworks were going off over Disneyland and something stirred in my heart and I thought, "there are so many more places I need to go." I've made a list of my passions and my preferred destinations (the Dakotas wasn't on the list) and the planning has begun. A writer needs only a pen as a companion-- I'm very excited.

 I left a lot back in South Dakota-- it was like I wrestled with myself there, Fight Club style, and what you have now is the woman that emerged from the carnage. Hope you like her, otherwise I'm afraid you might ship me back.

**Special thanks to Aunt Debbie and Uncle Steve for their unending support, and to my parents for always keeping the welcome mat out.**