Restoration

When Sophie got sick 3 weeks ago, it kinda rocked my world. I had motivation and a routine... and then worry consumed me and everything else faded into what was important. I wasn't thinking diet, I ate just to eat, whether that was ice cream or even more ice cream. It didn't help that I got sick just days later (not from eating too much ice cream), and I was left too weakened to even think about going to the gym. When Sophie and I both got back on our feet-- a week later-- all of my strength and resolve from the past 4 months had drained out the soles of my feet and I wallowed in the fact that I was a big, giant screw-up.

Couple that with the fact that there a few broken hearts in my close circle, I took on the emotion that surrounded me and was not myself. I threw myself into work, which was busy both at the college and freelance. I was up late almost every night conducting interviews or writing another article. The work was fun it was work. It wasn't until Shawna's birthday shopping trip to the Folsom outlets on the 8th that I started to feel normal again. We walked around the outlets, got our make-up done, and ate ourselves silly.

I did balayage my hair a few weeks ago. See the lighter ends? I love it. I've never been so excited to see my hair grown out before.

The next day, a Saturday, my check engine light went on, and I flashed back to the last time this has happened-- I was out of oil. I called Dad who told me, "Don't drive-- you'll burn out your engine!" I was driving, so I drove straight (well, with a quick stop at CrossFit) to the auto parts store, where Dad told me to bat my eyelashes and get someone behind the counter to help me. I scoffed-- how hard could this be? As I stood in the auto parts store to think of the last time I got my oil changed, I remembered that it was before I left South Dakota. In January. Whoopsie. Placing a quick call to the shop back in the Midwest, where they told me what kind of oil to buy (I *heart* the iPhone), and it took less than a minute with my hood up in the parking lot for gruff-but-sweet Don to walk up and take over filling up the oil I'd just purchased. I'm thinking he was an angel however, because when I thanked him, he said: "It's what Christian's do, Ma'am." It warmed my heart. He was looking for something to do since his blind wife was at the beauty shop and he was waiting for her to call to say she was done so he could pick her up. As he quickly worked, he said, "For 47 years I went hunting, fishing, and hung out with the boys. Then she got breast cancer and they let her blood pressure drop too low, and "BAM!" She went blind after her optic nerves ruptured. I never cooked, cleaned, or balanced a checkbook and who knows about those computer thingys. But I have to do it all now." His story was sobering and hopeful all at the same time. What an amazing love. She took care of his needs and now he is taking care of hers. I keep my stranger angel in my prayers. And now I keep that oil change sticker on my windshield where I can see it.

When I moved into the room at my friends house back in February, I knew it was temporary. However, it's been working out pretty well. Jeanine recently extended the invite for Sophie and I to stay as long as we wanted. Just when I decided to take her up on it, I got the call that the tenants of my condo are moving out -- did I want to move back in or rent it out again? Considering all the options, I decided to move back in and was rewarded with relief the moment I made the decision. I get to go home. Luckily, I get until the first week of August to plan, but I do know one thing-- I am going to paint it this time. I need the know colors to reflect the new person who is returning, a little wiser, a little more broken, but a little stronger. The top color is from Restoration Hardware called the Silver Sage Collection--this shade is Blue Sage-- and I can't wait to see what it looks like in person (even if I can only afford to do one wall.)

Most of my house will probably be taupe. It'll take me 2 months just to find one that's not to pink or not too green.

Time to go home.