Foreign Affairs

Two weeks ago, my friend Helga invited me over for a BBQ because her family was visiting from Germany. They had come 2 years ago to visit and were back again (the amount of vacation time they get is unreal and honestly unfair). It seemed as if no time had passed, as I have kept in contact with them friends via facebook and Skype. Mal met them on the last trip when we took them out to a restaurant downtown for a drink (2010 shown here):

This time, Mallory and I were already committed to go to my friend Terrie's wedding wedding in San Jose so we could only go the to the BBQ for an hour, but we showed up, looking way too fancy.

Here is Helga's granddaughter Vanessa (now 16, I last saw her when she was 4 years old), friend Janina, Helga's nephew Martin, and friend Marcel who has an aunt that lives 5 minutes from Helga-- they only found this out recently. Got all that? OK, moving on.

Martin has been a friend-- a pen pal if you will-- since I have gotten to know him the handful of times he's visited. He is a year older than I and he teases me that I had plenty of time to learn German, but still haven't. I will silence you speculators now-- there is nothing ever possibly remotely between he and I, as I will go into detail in my next blog called "Something Got Lost in the Translation." I have no intention to break any hearts in any parts of the world and LORD KNOWS I AM NOT MOVING! (<--- That's for you, Unkie. And Mom. And especially Dad).

On to the wedding. I loved that Mallory came with me. There was a man that the bride wanted me to meet, which is why I invited Mallory. Since a set-up probably meant d-u-d, I needed party insurance. Mallory and I had an absolute blast. It was an Assyrian wedding and I just knew that I was going to screw something up culturally-- and within the first 30 mins I realized that my lone gift sat at the "gift" table. Where were the rest of the presents from the 400 other people there? I don't know that answer. I just know that I was the only one to bring one and I felt like it had a neon sign with my name on it. Just to clarify-- the wedding was at 2pm and the reception was at 6:30pm. For the first time in my life, I did not attend the wedding, just the reception. My reasons were valid: I wanted to see the bride, I wanted to dance, and I wanted Mal to come with me and she couldn't make the early time because of work.  I'd normally say that I was there for the food, but a stomach "virus" (is what the doctor is calling it) hit me on the way home and hasn't ceased. I continue to spend most of my days thinking about not throwing up or making myself sick to feel better. (yikes, you weren't eating, were you?)

If you have never been to an Assyrian Wedding, it was the COOLEST experience. When the music and dancing started I didn't know what to think, but when we joined in, I counted it up there on the list of "Unexpected Life Joys".

Are some of you still hung up on the wedding set-up? It was exactly like I thought it would be. RIGHT as I met the guy, his sister whispered to me, "He needs someone fun and vivacious to draw him out because he has been a stick-in-the-mud for a long time." *Insert internal eye-roll and send Mallory the signal swoop in and rescue me.*

Because of the formal nature of the event, I went that morning to choose jewelry to dress up my LBD. I took it very seriously, finally choosing a bracelet and went to match it with earrings. Another girl walked up to me at the earrings with the same bracelet in her hand. I smiled and said, "You're trying to match it, too. Let me know if you find anything." She smiled and said, "Yes, you too." I finally chose the earrings and passed by her on my way to the cashier, "I found these I think will work. Don't worry, I am going to a wedding in San Jose tonight so I am sure we can buy the same thing."

She stopped and looked at me, jaw open: "Whose wedding?"

"Terrie."

"Me too."

She was still looking at me like I had orchestrated the whole conversation when I was just as shocked as her. I said, motioning to the bracelet, "Well this took me too long to figure out, so I'm still going to buy it, ok?" Luckily instead of thinking I was creepy, she smiled and said "We will have to take a twin photo tonight."

That night, while washing my hands in the restroom, she said "Nice bracelet." We got a photo and when she came to my table to meet Mallory, she looked down at my purse and said, "I have that purse." At least I know who to hire to be my personal shopper... Meet Lisa.

Spontaneously (definition is debatable) on Sunday I accepted the invitation to go with Helga and family to Yosemite on Monday. I moved a few plans and was so glad I did. The sunshine and the outdoors and company-- it was kinda fun feeling incognito within a group of German tourists. I wondered if others thought I was foreign and that thought delighted me for some reason. I imagined they thought my name was Ilka and I had a fun day of hiding in plain sight.

My favorite view. All I could do was hum "Majesty, worship His Majesty..."

Martin had rented a Mustang at the SF airport and when we stopped for lunch we found ourselves not only by the same Mustang, but the licence plates were 3 numbers off. As in 6VWY475 and 6VWY478. I found this cool enough to take a photo. It takes little to please me-- don't believe the rumors.

Though we didn't get to see any waterfalls from the valley (the one we went to had dried up-- I was going to use my waterbottle to recreate the falls for a photo opp, but it was hot and water was valuable), the day was clear and it spoke to my soul. This was only my 2nd time at Yosemite and I consider that a pity. I look forward to returning in the spring with a willing group to do some hiking.

One more thing: you need to read this blog and forward to your friends. I normally wouldn't use this four-letter "f" word, but this story is hysterical.
The Fart that Almost Altered My Destiny